I Deserve a Six-Figure Job Because I Showed Up

Age: 22

Fresh out of college, I walked into my very first real job interview like I was the solution to every problem this company didn’t know it had. I had on a blazer I bought at a thrift store, khakis that thought they were dress pants, and a level of confidence so disproportionate to my experience that it could’ve been measured on the Richter scale.

I sat down, introduced myself, and when they asked what salary I was expecting, I didn’t flinch.

“One-hundred and twenty-five thousand,” I said. “Base. Not including bonuses, of course.”

The interviewer blinked at me like I had just told him I was a time traveler.

“Do you have experience in this industry?” he asked.

“No,” I replied. “But I’m here. And presence is powerful.”

There was a pause so long it got awkward. I tried to fill it.

“I’ve been on time to things. I understand email. I know how to delegate, even though I’ve never had anyone to delegate to. And I read somewhere that people with confidence are statistically more successful.”

Then I leaned in and whispered, “I’m basically a walking ROI.”

Needless to say, I did not get the job. But I did get a LinkedIn connection request from the HR intern, probably just to keep tabs on me in case I somehow became a threat to corporate America.

Lesson Learned:
Confidence is key, but delusion is not a career path. Turns out, showing up is only half the battle. The other half? Actually knowing something and… you know, working. Who knew?