Hot Josh vs. the HOA’s Forbidden Pool Party

It was the summer of 2023, and the HOA’s latest decree banned pool parties “to maintain tranquility.” Tranquility? More like boredom. At 28, “tranquility” wasn’t on my bucket list. A hot July day practically begged for cannonballs and cocktails, not HOA-mandated silence.

So, naturally, I decided to throw an epic pool party. Flyers were discreetly distributed among my most fun-loving neighbors. “BYO floaties and rebellion,” they read. With a playlist prepped and margarita mix ready, the stage was set for what I was certain would be a legendary night.

The evening started perfectly. The pool sparkled under string lights, laughter echoed, and someone brought inflatable flamingos. It was magic. That is, until Mr. HOA himself—clipboard in hand—appeared. He glared at our contraband fun, his presence casting a pall over our defiance.

I greeted him with a grin and a margarita, hoping to disarm him. Instead, he cited bylaws like they were the Ten Commandments. I countered with the argument that “partying is a human right,” which he did not appreciate. The standoff escalated when someone hit play on We’re Not Gonna Take It—unfortunate timing but great theming.

The party disbanded shortly after, with everyone scattering like guilty teenagers. Mr. HOA promised to “take this up with the board,” leaving me with a pile of inflatable flamingos and a hefty fine.

Consequences: $250 in HOA fines, a reputation as the neighborhood troublemaker, and the loss of my security deposit because someone spilled sangria in the pool house.

Lessons Learned: HOA rules are real, and their enforcers lack a sense of humor. Also, if you’re going to rebel, make sure your neighbors are better at running away.

In the end, tranquility was restored, but not without a ripple of defiance. Would I do it again? Absolutely—but next time, it’ll be at someone else’s pool.