Haunting the Candy Thieves
Halloween. The year? Let’s call it the prime of the mid-2000s—an era when I was an ambitious ten-year-old with an unquenchable thirst for candy. Every year, it was the same ritual. I’d carefully plot out the neighborhood, calculating the most efficient route for maximum candy yield. However, that year, something dark and sinister awaited my sweet harvest.
As soon as the pillowcase started to bulge with treats, I noticed a pattern emerging. Every third or fourth house, some older kids would swoop in with their massive bags, looking for unguarded stashes of candy left on porches. Not satisfied with their own, they had no qualms about pilfering from the youngest, including me. By the fifth house, they even had the audacity to snatch a Kit-Kat right out of my pillowcase. Bold move. I’d have to teach them a little lesson on Halloween justice.
I retreated home to plan a little counteroffensive. Dad’s cabinet held my key ingredient: a bottle of the stickiest syrup known to humankind. I slathered it across the wrappers of some caramel apples (the candy nobody actually wants), then carefully re-wrapped them, placing them strategically at the top of my pillowcase. All I needed to do was wander within their line of sight, and—sure enough—these amateur bandits appeared.
“Hey, kid, got anything good in there?” one sneered, diving into my bag before I could respond. I put on my best frightened face as they snatched the sticky caramel apples and quickly stuffed them in their bags, feeling smug. They were so focused on the “free” loot, they didn’t notice the syrup had practically glued their fingers together.
Back at my candy inspection headquarters (a.k.a. the kitchen table), I savored the satisfaction of watching from afar as they struggled to peel apart the gooey mess they’d unwittingly created. Sure, I lost a few questionable caramel apples in the process, but it was worth it. As they disappeared into the night, I counted my haul, content that this year’s trick-or-treat had balanced itself out.
Lesson Learned: In life, sometimes you’ve got to get your hands dirty—especially if someone else’s are already sticky.
